For some all it takes is to hit rock bottom once and for others it takes a few hits until you FINALLY get it. After one sarcastic joke, one party, one drink, once not knowing what happened the night before, life was completely changed. Things I said I would never do actually happened. Then a close friend dies, all that is left is anger, sadness, heartbreak, and guilt. Sometimes when I would think of the people I love I hope that their heart was right with God. Did I share enough or did I hide God too much. I know that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13 So I can share Christ, I can Love Him and others, and I can share Christ with others, I can do many things and have joy because I know that He is with me. Here's a challenge, When Life gets rough pray, and listen, just sit in the quiet and listen. Don't just hang up te phone when your done talking because God has something to say!!! "When you fall get back up again" -Toby Mac This quote is so true, maybe even go listen to the song because everyone needs a little encouragement in some form.
Next I would like to talk about my baptism. Before Sunday August 8th I was searching to feel God's Love in my life and I was hurting an crying out. I had been baptized previously when I was 14, and it was more of a follow the crowd, but when I was baptized this time, I felt something inside me, a "warm fuzzy" kind of feeling. I knew God was with me and that when I fall He was going to pick me back up and that I Had His love in my life. I wish I could describe this feeling better but it was so indescribable. In James 1:22 it says Do not merely listen to te word and so deceive yourselves but DO what it says.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Defining moments
Well his past week God has talked to me alot. He has shown that no matter what happens or how bad i mess up that He will always love me and He will comfort me . I have felt God's Love so strong this week. God's Love is what I was praying for and asking people to pray that I could find God's true Love again. I had to completely let go of my past. Well her let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I grew up in a christian home and was told that I was a christian since kindergarten. When I was in 3rd grade my parents lost their house and my sister and I went to live with my grandmother. I become upset and angry because my parents were barely around. I became needy and wanted to attatch to every person i met that was nice to me, especcially adult females and guys that were my age. When I was about 10 years old i started getting on chat rooms pretending to be older than I was and looking at porn. I condsider it another form of porn that people dont think about much. Sometimes my conversations wold lead to webcams which never turned out good. Gradually i got rid of the webcam but continued to get on chat rooms for years. In 2005 I got baptized, not that it did anything for me at that time. Sadly the same night I was baptized i was in a chat room until 5 in the morning. The year went by and I was invited to my friends church which I ended up enjoying and that's where I ended up becoming a member. I went to camp with them in the summer of 2006. That summer I gave my life to Christ and I said I was never going to get on chat rooms anymore. I got home and kept wanting to continue with the chat rooms or the porn but I resisted the temptation for about 6 months. It was almost like I couldn't stop but yet in Phillipians 4:13 it says I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. So then why could I not stop? Finally I get to the sumer before my senior year and I decided with God's help to stop getting on chat rooms, and yet still got on them. When I would get down or feel useless the chat rooms would make me feel special while I was on them. My senior year went by so quickly and I was starting to want God more in my life. I became a member at the church I am going to, right before we left for camp that summer. At camp I started being open to God and letting Him show me some baggage that I was carrying around with me. When I got home from camp I admitted about abuse from my uncle and my family and I took the needed steps to move forward. I had a really hard time and let it affect my first semester of college, by the time I realized it was too late. After the spring semester ended my friends that I had made from the bcm weren't around me and I wanted to be accepted by the people I worked with and I ended up going out with people from work one night and ended up drinking so much that I couldn't remember what happened. They invited guys over and they brought more alcohol with them and we played a drinking game. We had went outside afterwards then everything else is blank except for little flashbacks of things. I was taken advantage of that night. When I got home the next morning knowing what happened I cried out for repentence from God. The pain that sin brings is only bearable with Jesus Christ. Today I write this because maybe there is someone out there that has been abused, or gotten on chat rooms, or looked at porn, or felt the need to be accepted by the worng crowd, or have been taken advantage of. If anything I pray that they know God loves them and is waiting for them to repent and turn to Him so that He can comfort them. He has many ways that He wants to use them just like He is begging to use me.
Lord,
I pray to you today that you would be with the hurting. That even though the pain seems unbearable at times, that nothing is unbearable with you. I pray for those who don't know you that will open up their hearts for you. I just ask that you give them the strength to share with the friends and family that you are the ultimate comforter.
I grew up in a christian home and was told that I was a christian since kindergarten. When I was in 3rd grade my parents lost their house and my sister and I went to live with my grandmother. I become upset and angry because my parents were barely around. I became needy and wanted to attatch to every person i met that was nice to me, especcially adult females and guys that were my age. When I was about 10 years old i started getting on chat rooms pretending to be older than I was and looking at porn. I condsider it another form of porn that people dont think about much. Sometimes my conversations wold lead to webcams which never turned out good. Gradually i got rid of the webcam but continued to get on chat rooms for years. In 2005 I got baptized, not that it did anything for me at that time. Sadly the same night I was baptized i was in a chat room until 5 in the morning. The year went by and I was invited to my friends church which I ended up enjoying and that's where I ended up becoming a member. I went to camp with them in the summer of 2006. That summer I gave my life to Christ and I said I was never going to get on chat rooms anymore. I got home and kept wanting to continue with the chat rooms or the porn but I resisted the temptation for about 6 months. It was almost like I couldn't stop but yet in Phillipians 4:13 it says I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. So then why could I not stop? Finally I get to the sumer before my senior year and I decided with God's help to stop getting on chat rooms, and yet still got on them. When I would get down or feel useless the chat rooms would make me feel special while I was on them. My senior year went by so quickly and I was starting to want God more in my life. I became a member at the church I am going to, right before we left for camp that summer. At camp I started being open to God and letting Him show me some baggage that I was carrying around with me. When I got home from camp I admitted about abuse from my uncle and my family and I took the needed steps to move forward. I had a really hard time and let it affect my first semester of college, by the time I realized it was too late. After the spring semester ended my friends that I had made from the bcm weren't around me and I wanted to be accepted by the people I worked with and I ended up going out with people from work one night and ended up drinking so much that I couldn't remember what happened. They invited guys over and they brought more alcohol with them and we played a drinking game. We had went outside afterwards then everything else is blank except for little flashbacks of things. I was taken advantage of that night. When I got home the next morning knowing what happened I cried out for repentence from God. The pain that sin brings is only bearable with Jesus Christ. Today I write this because maybe there is someone out there that has been abused, or gotten on chat rooms, or looked at porn, or felt the need to be accepted by the worng crowd, or have been taken advantage of. If anything I pray that they know God loves them and is waiting for them to repent and turn to Him so that He can comfort them. He has many ways that He wants to use them just like He is begging to use me.
Lord,
I pray to you today that you would be with the hurting. That even though the pain seems unbearable at times, that nothing is unbearable with you. I pray for those who don't know you that will open up their hearts for you. I just ask that you give them the strength to share with the friends and family that you are the ultimate comforter.
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